The meme world is wrong about what spark joy really means. After all, you might not love and cherish your vacuum cleaner but it’s not like you can just trash it. 🗑️
And you can’t run out and buy a whole new set of clothes because your current closet isn’t exactly lighting you up.
So how do you deal with things that you don’t love but still need?
Let’s go.
We’ve all heard the jokes – your utility bills don’t spark joy so you can just bin them. 🗑️
But surely there’s more to the KonMari Method than decluttering everything you don’t love? I mean, you might be left with little more than your dog and a pair of fluffy socks. 🧦 🐾
But first things first, how do you even know what spark joy feels like?
How to determine what sparks joy
According to Marie Kondo, who coined the phrase, you’ll know something gives you that spark joy feeling if you get a little jolt or buzz of happiness when you hold it.
You might squeeze it or hug it close to your heart, for instance. 💖
In that way, it’s almost a physical reaction to the item.
If you’re unsure, it helps to hold something you absolutely love and adore and notice how you respond when it’s in your hands.
Do you feel warm? Light? Giddy? Peaceful? So excited you can barely sit still? 🤩
Use that feeling as your spark joy barometer for everything else.
And don’t worry if it’s a little tricky at first; you’ll hone your instincts as you go.
But let’s face it, if that was all there was to it then landfills would be full of laundry piles. 😏 So it’s time to dive a little deeper.
What does spark joy mean?
What spark joy really means is that something makes your life better, either because of its beauty or its functionality. In that way it’s less about how it makes you feel and more about how it makes YOUR LIFE feel.
You might not love your vacuum cleaner but it sure does make your life a lot easier.
To clarify things, let’s look at some common KonMari experiences that put the spark joy concept to the test. These are all dilemmas I faced on my decluttering journey and how I overcame them.
And later I’ll pose some alternatives to “does it spark joy” that will help you get crystal clear on what stays and what can go. 🤔
Obstacle 1: I don’t love it but I can’t just get rid of it
Remember that there is joy in usefulness too. I don’t love insect repellant but I sure do love it more than being bitten. (I say this as someone who’s currently sitting outside while I type these words.)
It’s a balancing act. ⚖️
Something I really struggled with was my daughter’s belongings from when she was a baby. I suffered with postnatal depression after she was born and some of those items were reminders of difficult days.
But I also didn’t feel I could just get rid of them. For better or worse I was emotionally attached to them.
It was a complex situation and, in the end, I decided I would feel better keeping them.
However, as a compromise, I stored them in a container where I couldn’t see the contents, and stashed it out of sight.
I still had the comfort of knowing they were there but wasn’t forced to face painful memories on a regular basis.
So if you’re really struggling with something, ask yourself the following question:
Which sparks more joy, keeping it or releasing it?
Obstacle 2: This item sparks joy, but I have too many
This one usually rears its ugly head when it comes to hobby supplies. You love your yarn but how many billions of balls of wool does one person really need? 🧶
Or jigsaw puzzles are your jam but they’re starting to take over every available space.
This was me with stationery supplies. Give me all the pretty planners and pens.
But I’m only living one lifetime (that I know of) and I only have so many hours in a day.
It was a revelation to me that something could spark joy and I could still get rid of it. (I came across this concept in Fumio Sasaki’s book, “Goodbye, Things”. <- affiliate link)
Yes, this is Yoda-level stuff. We’re talking advanced decluttering here so the first thing I’ll say is to declutter lots of other stuff first.
You may find that you can store all your scrapbook supplies in that cupboard you’ve just cleared out.
But assuming you’re still short on space and starting to trip over things, my best advice is to prioritise by pitting things against each other.
The truth is that there’s a scale. I have certain clothes that spark joy and others that spark JOYYY. ✨
There are things in my home I cherish… but would choose other things over them if the house were on fire.
When you’re struggling for space, take everything out and then start by putting back the absolute necessities. The “I would save you from a burning building” items.
Keep moving down the spark joy scale until you feel the space is as full as you’d like it. (It helps to leave a little breathing room too.)
Let the rest go.
And I know that’s easier said than done so here’s a video that will help you overcome any guilt or resistance you feel:
Fun fact: This prioritising method can also work if you’re trying to make decisions on what to do/wear next. When my daughter couldn’t decide which of her dresses to wear out of the 20 she had, I held them up in pairs.
Two at a time I pitted them against each other and asked her to choose which she preferred.
Like a sports tournament we continued to whittle it down until there was only one winner. 🥇
When decluttering, let your items battle it out for the top spots and then release anything that falls in the ‘runner up’ category. No prizes for participation here.
Obstacle 3: This doesn’t spark joy but I can’t replace it with something better right now
I mostly hear this in relation to clothing. You may have noticed your closet has become slightly more “comfortable” over the years and there’s very little left that really makes you feel your absolute best.
But the budget doesn’t always stretch to a shopping spree. (I mean, have you seen the price of a decent bra these days? 😳)
So what’s a gal to do when you don’t fancy facing the world in the nude?
And it’s not just clothing, this can apply to any item where replacing it isn’t feasible right now.
In those situations, you realise that making do with what you have sparks more joy than decluttering it and doing without.
If at some point down the line you find something with a higher “sparks joy score” that fits in your budget, then by all means ditch the old and welcome in the new. 🛍️
But for now you’re happier to have those comfy t-shirts than to go topless.
Some alternatives to “does it spark joy?”
Now that you understand what spark joy really means you’ll be better equipped to answer it.
But I get it, the question doesn’t float everyone’s decluttering boat.
So here are some alternatives that may resonate with you a bit more:
- Does this make my life better?
- Does this fit with the life I’m trying to create?
- Would I be worse off without this?
- Am I willing to sacrifice space for this?
- If this went missing, how long would it be before I’d notice?
And if you’re looking for even more decluttering questions to make your decisions easier, I’ve got you covered:
Now that you know what spark joy really means you might be ready to test your mettle. Meet me in this post about the easiest ways to complete the 5 categories of the KonMari Method.
On your sparks, get set… JOY!
