How To Let The Little Things Go & Stop Caring So Much

It’s not that you don’t care, it’s just that you don’t have TIME to care. In an ideal world, you’d be passionate about all sorts of worthy causes, but in the real world, there’s only so much of you to go around.


How To Let The Little Things Go & Stop Caring So Much

One way of clearing a whole lotta worry off your plate is to write yourself an “I no longer care about” list. On it, you put all those things that are just taking up space in your psyche when, in the broader scheme of things, you’re not that bothered.

Here’s an example from my own life: I no longer care about my daughter having screen time.

Until my daughter was about 2, she had almost zero screen time. I never sat her in front of a TV. Looking back, I might have saved myself a lot of heartache if I had. Nowadays, it’s not unusual to see her with her face stuck in a tablet, and I’ve decided I’m OK with that.

She still plays outside, I still take her to the playground and the library, I still read books to her and draw pictures with her, and I still talk to her.

How To Let The Little Things Go & Stop Caring So Much

I gave up the battle against the “evil screen” a long time ago. (After all, I’m glued to it half the time myself.)

And the truth is, it’s made my life a lot easier.

When it comes to kids especially, there are so many things we think we should care about – screen time, cooking all meals from scratch using organic ingredients, extracurricular activities, etc.

But there just isn’t enough time and energy to go around, so decide what’s TRULY important to you and learn to let the rest go. Pop them on your list as a reminder that you have higher priorities.

Here’s another one: I no longer care about being seen to be sociable.

I’m an introvert. I thrive when I’m alone. It’s not that I don’t like people, it’s just that I rest and rejuvenate best when I’m on my own.

How To Let The Little Things Go & Stop Caring So Much

I no longer care that, 99% of the time, I don’t go out at night, or meet friends for coffee, or go on play dates, or attend various groups.

I don’t care that I prefer to stay home. I don’t care that other people might see that as strange, or anti-social. I don’t care that others think I should be mixing more or getting out more.

I used to, but oh what a weight that was to carry.

Now I’m more worried about my own wellbeing than what others think I should be doing or how I should be acting.

My biggest concerns are for the health and happiness of myself and my family. After that, the rest can take a ticket.

How To Let The Little Things Go & Stop Caring So Much

Undoubtedly, there are things in your life that you spend time fussing about. Maybe it’s counting calories, or deciding what to wear. Maybe it’s screen time for the kids, or whether your neighbours would think less of you if you painted your door hot pink.

Instead of trying to balance everything, save yourself some time and frustration and just decide on the things that you’re not going to care about at all.

That doesn’t mean you’re a total monster who doesn’t give a damn about anything; rather, you’ve chosen your battles and, unfortunately, some catfights just didn’t make the cut.

When I stopped trying to be “the perfect mother”, I gave myself the space and energy to battle my post-natal depression. When I declared to the world that I was a happy little introvert, I was able to make my mental health a priority.

Decide what you don’t care about, write it on your list, and suddenly you’ll have a lot more time and attention to devote to the things you truly, deeply care about.

Fry the big fish, and let the smaller ones swim free.

What's one thing you could stop worrying about right now?

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  1. Laura, I really like the idea of making a list to figure out what I don’t care about anymore. It would be really helpful to take some time to consider that more deeply and have a visual reminder 🙂

  2. This has been a painful and liberating journey for me. I wrote lists, I refined them, I categorised them from lists to Project Life Index cards (i like to do everything in a creative way). I started a Life Handbook & copied stuff across, I get it out, add to it still. I said No to friends, I said No to subscriptions, I said No to events, I said No when people ‘offered’ me their stuff. I said No to endless TV. I said I actually hate sports on TV especially the AFL (an Aussie thing) & I realised I had spent years believing I cared about sports, because I was sporty, and that is what cool chicks do. Oh the time in my life I now wish I could get back from watching car racing, golf, AFL, tennis grrrr. I said No to documentary nights, to In home Parties, to Fundraising events. I started setting Real, Actual boundaries. I found at first people really did not like it. I was the person who always said yes, to absolutely everything. And it was exhausting, I said yes to how and what everyone thought about me, to their opinions. I stopped. It has busted up some friendships, tested others. But now things are on the up. I have made some new friendships, and my true friends love me more, they have really celebrated seeing me become who I want to be, and happily am, and support me in this. I’m now very clear on what I love doing, want to do, will do and have to do. And I do those things, and apart from the fact that there is always crap in life I’m generally pretty happy with how I spend every day. But it is a hard, tough process to go through. Thanks for writing about this, because I think it is a hidden issue, that we don’t talk about enough. That negative self talk, that ‘feeling’ you should do and be everything for everyone, and be liked, and nice, and never upset, offend, insult anyone, always say yes…. well I don’t think running around being that person gets anyone happy.

    • Wow! What an inspiring story! It takes great courage to stand up and be the person you were born to be. How wonderful that you’re now living an authentic life, in line with your values, and that your friendships are all the stronger as a result. Truly inspirational. You should be very proud of yourself.

  3. I am with you on the introvert and wanting to stay home alone. I have a select few that I chose to spend time with. Otherwise, I’m content to hang out on the farm with my goats

    • For every birthday there’s only one thing I tell Sam I want – for him to take Scout out for a few hours so I can have the house all to myself. Bliss! Ha ha.

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