The mind is a pretty powerful thing. It can remember the tiniest of details, and the most memorable of moments. It can recall the lyrics to songs you haven’t heard since you were a child, and it can process thousands of thoughts and ideas and images every single second. It’s a well-oiled machine.
Unfortunately, it can also run dry and break down. It can cause havoc with any number of your senses, and it can sometimes have difficulty remembering even the basics— from little things like where you left your keys, to big things like your children’s names. Sometimes we notice, and sometimes we don’t. And sometimes the things we don’t notice get progressively worse and worse until they cause you to suffer physically. Like stress.
I’ve had a few stressful periods in my life. Thankfully not too many and not too frequently, but enough that they’re now causing a problem. I first started getting pains shortly after my daughter was born. They were intense, but short-lived, and I put them down to a normal post-pregnancy symptom. I had a difficult birth with her, but I assumed the pain was related to my insides moving back into their pre-pregnancy places. (I believe that’s the technical term. 😉 )
Fast forward two years to present day and I’m still getting the pains, so I decided it was time to see my doctor. She had a long chat with me, asking about the type of pain and about my lifestyle, and doing a quick physical examination of my abdomen and chest, as well as listening to my heartbeat and breathing function. The diagnosis? A stress-related ulcer.
I’m awaiting test results to confirm, but it makes sense. The birth was a very stressful time, and that’s when I started getting the pains. And I’ve had a few flare-ups since, all preceded by stressful events. Like, for example, Scout’s eye surgery two weeks ago. And various other elements that I won’t go into here.
The point is that anxiety and stress can have crippling effects on the body. For me, I end up doubled over in pain. I’ve also had the odd panic attack in the past. It’s not pleasant, but it’s avoidable. And that’s what you need to be aware of.
There are the normal stresses and strains of everyday life — the worry when your child gets a mysterious rash, or the fretting when the electricity bill comes in and it’s bigger than usual. While part and parcel of life, they’re still unpleasant and, if a lot of them come at once, they can add up to major problems. And then there are certain events that can tip the scale significantly — the death of a loved one, the loss of a job when there are mortgages to be paid and mouths to feed, or the diagnosis of a serious illness. These things put pressure on the body that far exceeds what it’s used to dealing with.
And just like you can break out in blotches when exposed to something strange, your body can be adversely affected when your brain has been exposed to something harsh too. If your body can’t deal with this new invader, it suffers. Blood pressure rises, cortisol levels increase, and inflammation abounds.
I know you’ve heard a hundred times that your health is your wealth but, sadly, it’s something we seem to understand only when our health is at risk. The time to do something about it isn’t when you’re gasping for air or getting chest pains; the time is now.
Prevention is invariably better than cure, and we all need to be much more aware of the toll stress takes on us. It’s so important to take a step back regularly and prioritise your mental wellbeing because, without it, you could be in serious trouble. I tried to take a step back recently by spending the day at a spa but, sadly, it was too little too late. I’d let things build up inside me and the damage was already done.
And I’m not saying it’s not fixable, or that I’m the worst case out there. Of course not. But if I don’t do something about it now, my health will continue to deteriorate to the point where it may be irreparable.
So I’d urge you to do something now too. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or like you’re struggling to cope, take time out. I mistakenly thought, as a mother, that it was impossible. But it’s not. Friends and family can help out, and are usually happy to do so if you just ask. There are also childminders and babysitters who can come to your home for an hour or two and take the kids off your hands. There are cleaners who can give your house a once-over when you just feel like you can’t face it. There are numbers you can call when you feel that life is giving you a bit of a beating.
Do whatever you have to do to ensure you stay well. Spending a tenner on a childminder or cleaner for an hour might seem frivolous… until you end up with massive medical bills. Or sometimes you just need 5 extra minutes in bed. Or in the shower. Figure out what helps you feel healthy and calm, and enjoy daily doses.
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